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Sample Text and Exercise

The workbook has 113 pages that explain important concepts and then offers  examples, hints, familiar case studies/scenarios and includes many different types of exercises.  The following is an example of 2 pages found in Chapter 5, "The Martial Art of Customer Service....Dealing with the Good, the Bad and the Super Hostile."  The chapter begins with helping readers list good/desirable customer behaviors followed by the most challenging things customers have said or done.  Next is an overview of how staff and Volunteers easily become "reactive" and meet an angry customer with more anger or sarcasm or simply say nothing and internalize negative feelings, creating unhealthy situations for themselves and possibly the next customer.  The concept of being proactive and handling a situation without becoming defensive, offensive or thrown off base by the other person's anger is explained.  Two true case studies are shared (an account a woman who was extremely offensive to a clerk and the other about a customer who got agitated waiting in line), and conclusions are discussed so that readers can see familiar examples and ways to handle them.  The summary and a brief sample of a longer exercise are shared below.  In the workbook itself, the longer exercise is followed by conclusions, tips and a summary.

Reactive (harmful) vs. Proactive (helpful) Behaviors
When we become reactive players in negative exchanges, we...
  • Become defensive
  • Speak more loudly
  • Blame
  • Offer verbal kicks, punches and jabs
  • Fight to the end
  • Suffer from loss of energy
  • Feel frustrated
  • Make problems worse
 When we are wisely proactive and use verbal aikido, we...
  • Relax under pressure
  • Stay on an even keel
  • Do not become angry
  • Are not sucked into the drama
  • Respond with logic and facts
  • Avoid a fight without caving
  • Do not try to harm the "attacker" (the customer)
  • Feel good about ourselves
  • Look for workable solutions.

Winning!

Animal shelter staff and Volunteers who practice verbal aikido moves readjust their definition of what winning means in an interaction with a difficult customer.  Here is what they say:

WINNING in an interaction is NOT:  1.  Getting bigger and uglier than the customer, 2. Making the customer admit they are wrong, 3. Punishing them by becoming inflexible, or 4. Forcing the customer to listen.

WINNING in an interaction IS:  1.  Getting a job done in the most professional way possible, 2. Learning to deal objectively with difficult people. 3. Letting go of punishing people who are not nice, 4. Helping people hear us by remaining calm and logical.

We can "win" if we're Customer Smart!
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Do this!  Read these scenarios.  Place a check in the boxes to indicate which staff responses are reactive (play into or magnify the customer's hostility or set up a confrontation) and which are wisely based on a verbal aikido move (designed to shape a positive outcome. )

After this exercise, we will talk more about ways for you to use verbal aikido and be less reactive and edgy and more proactive and work with the customer.

Reactive snarls that lead to trouble.
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Proactive moves that work well.
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1.  A customer's "inside-outside" cat has disappeared and he is searching for her at the shelter.

a.  A staff member says, "I'm so sorry your cat is missing.  I'll take you to the cattery right now to see if we can find him."

___reactive or ___verbal aikido move

b.  The staff member says, "You're the third person today who has come looking for a lost cat."

___reactive or ___verbal aikido move

c.  The staff member says, "If you wouldn't let your cat outside, you wouldn't have to come down here and look for him.

___reactive or ___verbal aikido move

2.  A citizen is upset that she is being cited for allowing her dog to chase deer.  She is going back and forth between crying and yelling at the Officer.

a.  The Officer doesn't say anything more than to cite the county code and request the citizen's license, ignoring her emotional outburst.

___reactive or verbal ___aikido move

b.  The Officer says, "I can see why you would want your dog to have fun, and it may be natural for dogs to chase wild animals.  Unfortunately, it's not much fun for the wild animals and it is against the law.  I'm going to write you a ticket and if you want to make a case, you can make it to the court referee.

___reactive or ___verbal aikido move

3.  A donor is upset that she keeps getting multiple copies of mailers.

a.  The Development Clerk apologizes and says, "I promise to make sure today that it won't happene again.  This is embarrasing for us and frustrating for you."

___reactive or ___verbal aikido move

b.  The clerk simply says, "Our system is so screwed up.  Just go ahead and throw away the extras or pass them on to friends."

___reactive or ___verbal aikido move

 

Customer Smart skills keep us from "losing it!"
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